nennen sie mich auspumpenkröte

Let it be known that I despise winter. I can deal with a dry heat, a wet heat, a wet warmth, a damp chill, a moist sock, or anything resembling the above. Three things I can’t manage: Centigrade, Wind, Cold. And this place has all fucking three of them:

Oh, and it has a guy playing an accordion at a subway station under one of the most popular tourist hotels in the city. When you tip him a euro, he demands two more. I recommend not paying him further—he won’t understand any of your requests and he will show you what he has for lunch. A good beggar shows you NOTHING at this point.

Oh, it also has very efficient trains, so when you lie to him and tell him you have to leave to go to Aying, he’ll (correctly) inform you that you have at least four minutes (and still two Euros) to kill. Ignore him and board the train.

Walk aimlessly around a small village following the flow of traffic. Spot one of your favorite breweries on the planet.

Enjoy the veal sausage, three profound beers, and the charm of families flowing in and out with their well behaved children/pets. Smile and tell the kids that you don’t “sprechen sie deutsch.“ Tip like the foreigner you are and head back to the city for some more fun. Forget your camera.

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